I am in constant motion searching for the next thing that the Lord has in store for me. Rather than rejoicing in the present moment, many times I am waiting eagerly for the next best thing. After our wedding, my mindset transferred toward a house, a baby, a career, our permanent location, my next calling, our ministry, a Church community and loads more. Don’t get me wrong, I have entering into my marriage with an overwhelming sense of joy and accomplishment, but I have also failed to be ‘okay with here.’
Living in our one bedroom apartment, I often get frustrated with the available space for extra stuff (mainly my craft stuff). I am usually covering the whole living room with supplies, only to have to clean it up when we have guests over. With many friends purchasing and fixing up homes, my heart leaps with anticipation. I yearn to have a place to actually display the craft corner that has piled up in our garage. I desire a house to start molding and developing for our future. I want a larger, more secure space. I am not ‘okay with here.’
At the conclusion of the school year, I applied for a ministry job at a high school. After going through the whole process, Christ directed me back toward Sacred Heart. The Lord was distinctly calling me to minister in this community. With multiple friends serving as college missionaries, I often find myself jealous of their ‘form of ministry’. In college, I felt alive sharing my faith at the collegiate level. I also realize the growth that takes place through working so closely with the Church, including worship opportunities, small groups, bibles studies & more. Having a passionate desire to work with young adults, I often find it hard to be ‘okay with here.’
Medina, OH is where we ended up. No ties, no connections, just Kyle & Kelsey. Although the community has been wonderful for us, I often feel anxious about our permanent location. Upon graduating from college, I believe 85% of our friends moved to Columbus. They are frequently able to meet up, while it takes a little road trip for us to reach most of our friends. With a massive decision looming in the future, it makes it hard to be still in the present. It makes it hard to be ‘okay with here.’
Patience has always been a virtue of practice for me. The Lord is always providing me with opportunities to exercise this very virtue, because he knows how bad I am at it. I am often too eager for the future and overlooking the very blessings in the present. Through my reflection, I have realized that I am not ‘okay with here’, but that I am MORE THAN ‘okay with here.”
Through our apartment, I have learned MORE THAN a house. I have learned how to share my space, how to invest in my husband-rather than home projects, how to compromise, how to be creative with space, how to be close & how to cuddle, how to play ping pong in a garage, how to spruce up a room with one wall painted, how to re-arrange an L couch 5 different ways, and how to live.
At Sacred Heart, I have learned MORE THAN any other form of ministry. I have learned how to pray with 10 year olds, how to lead a teacher prayer group, how to use God’s gift of laughter in the classroom, how to demonstrate how important the sacraments are to students, how to encourage, how to rebuilt children’s attitude toward school, how to accept different, how to love unconditionally, how to cry when you say good-bye, and how to welcome everyone.
In Medina, I have learned MORE THAN Columbus. I have learned how to properly go down a one way, where to find an encouraging Young Adult Bible Study, how to get to the nearest ice cream parlor, how to talk to your new neighbors, how to get to the mall, different ways to craft (thank you Hobby Lobby), how Sam’s Club works and how to drink beer.
Through this search, Christ has taught be to be MORE THAN present here. Rather than just getting by until the next best thing, make HERE be the best. Continue to learn from where you are, rather than pretending to learn from where you want to be.
Please continue to pray with and for me. May I grow in patience and learn to love where God has me right HERE.
Thank you so much for our present blessings. I ask that we continue to live where you need us, right here. May we not always strive toward more or the next best thing, but rather be gifted with the ability to be active in the present moment. May we continue to transform our desires and wills into those of the Father. Amen.